Impressions from an Ikea ex-virgin:

1. Swedish meatballs are overrated.

2. Two shopping carts full of SKÄRPTIGG (=basic household crap) just barely fits in my car.

3. Sorry, couldn’t resist poking at the whimsical names.

4. Who knew you can buy actual living things there? Next time I am getting an orchid there. It’s going to be a kickass scandinavian viking (no pansy…HA) and I am going to call it THORBJÖRG.

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